Category: Appreciation in Business

Written Appreciation

Written appreciation, when sincere, is powerful.

Though great for quickly communicating with people anywhere in the world, emails and even texting sorely lack the in-person aspects of communication that have become so vital to how the human species shares ideas and opinions. This simple absence is enough to make even the most harmless email appear aggressive, even if it’s sent with the full intention of serving as a “thank you”. Because of this, it’s up to you, the sender, to make sure your texts always seem genuine and always get the message across correctly.  Written appreciation, as long as it’s sincere, is often the most valued and most memorable form of appreciation.

Grammatical Errors

Thank you’s mean more if you include the person’s name. It’s a quick, simple flourish that really sets the tone to be more intimate and personal than some generalized message not denoted to be for anyone specific. This is why it’s so important to triple check that the name is spelled correctly. A misspelled name, instead of promoting intimacy, puts the reader on the defensive since you clearly aren’t courteous enough to respect a name they’ve had since birth. This goes for all other words in the message. Correct spelling, grammar and punctuation are absolutely important for a message that you want an individual to take seriously. Let these mistake slip through, and they’ll take the thank you as callous and insincere.


Don’t write to the individual thanking them for the “lovely gift” or the “time spent” with them. Thank them for what they did for you specifically. Name the gift and expand on what they did with you during the time you had together. These specifics work to not only make the note more enjoyable but reminds the receiver of who you are and the good times you had together. In short, it inspires comradery should they not immediately remember what happened. This then translates into positive feelings that are now associated with both you and the note. It helps you set a tone without being able to do so physically, and that is your greatest hurdle with emails and texts.

5 Ways to Communicate Appreciation in Networking

How to truly show appreciation to colleagues and clients

Appreciation in business when you’re a solopreneur


No, longer thank you’s messages are not inherently better than shorter thank you’s. In fact, the longer versions are often skimmed over and ignored immediately after.  When it comes to written appreciation, brief and sincere is most valued.

Remember, this is not a day and age where letter writing is a way to pass the time. This is a time period where time is everything. The longer something is, the less engaging it tends to be. In addition, you are not a trained writer. Your long notes will not be beautifully crafted diatribes that evoke tears. They’ll be awkward and end up repeating the same idea ten times over but with slightly different language.

Stick to what you know. Be concise. Thank them for exactly what you want to thank them for. Throw in a hope for the future. Wish them success. Be on your way. They’ll feel much more special that you both took the time to send such a message while still respecting their time.


As a rule of thumb, send your thank you text or email within 24 hours to 48 hours after an event, the gift or the meeting.  Yet, do know that a sincere thank you is appreciated anytime it’s received regardless if it’s even a month later.

Customer appreciation gives business owners the advantage

The burden of timely thank you

The human side of your brand is the most costly


People do business with people. The more personal a note is the more genuine and valued it is.  That doesn’t mean getting into personal or inappropriate stories – remember, the note (or email) is about them (what they did, specifically and what it meant to you).  A thank you note is not an additional sales piece or a chance for you to promote yourself.  The only kind of promotion that you might put in a thank you note is business card and this is really more from a standpoint of reminding them who you are or how they know you.  This is not a time to ask for referrals or even to ask for their business.  This is about sincere appreciation and not about any ulterior motives.

Appreciation and Discouragement


Do you ever get discouraged?

I do.  You work hard, try your best, and still, things don’t work out as you hoped.  You plan, prepare, think ahead — and yet, something unforeseen comes out of nowhere and creates another obstacle you have to overcome.  Life (both at work and outside of work) is difficult (at times, at least.)

So what do you do?

It depends — on you and on the circumstances.  Sometimes you “put your head down” and just keep at it — persevering.

Other times you get frustrated and maybe even downright mad, and you let others around you know it.

Maybe you withdraw, which can take different forms:  you go to a movie, or you sit at home and binge on Netflix.  Some people drink to “get away from it for a while”.  Others smoke pot.  Some of us go and eat a boat-load of ice cream.  All efforts to ease the pain and try to feel better.

Sometimes we may take the “healthy” route — and go exercise at the gym, or go for a run.

What is discouragement, really? 

Discouragement, literally means, “without courage”. We lose that fighting edge to “go get ’em” and attack the challenges of the day.  We lose heart.  We are worn out.  We wonder if “it” (our goals / our vision) is worth all of the time and effort we are putting into trying to make things happen.

Anyone who has goals they are trying to reach (if they are honest about it) becomes discouraged.  The obstacles to overcome loom large and seem to be multiplying (versus going away as we deal with them).  We don’t seem to be making progress and wonder if all that we are doing makes any difference at all.

The Relationship between Discouragement and Appreciation

Appreciation is the act of communicating the fact that you value something about another person, or what they have done. (And hopefully, you communicate the appreciation in the way that is meaningful to the other person.)

Encouragement is closely related to appreciation.  Encouragement is coming along side of someone and trying to support and “give them courage” to keep going — that their efforts aren’t in vain.  The focus of encouragement is the present and future, while the emphasis of appreciation is for actions demonstrated in the past.

The Point?

When you see someone who is discouraged, you can use the same actions from their preferred language of appreciation to encourage them.

Give them a word of encouragement (“You are doing, great, Jeanne! I am impressed with how much progress you’ve made on this project this week.”)  Stop by their workspace, check in and see how they are doing.  See if there is a little something you could do that would help them move forward on the task.  Bring them their favorite Starbucks unannounced.Yes, we all get discouraged.  But that is partly what colleagues are for — to be there when we are losing hope, and let us know, if we keep going, we can (and WILL) get the task done!

Guest post: Dr. Paul White, AppreciationAtWork
Maria Elena Duron is a Premier Partner and Certified Trainer/Coach with Appreciation At Work

Appreciation in Business Cannot Overcome Toxicity

Everyone seems to really like you. You’re always supportive, never negative and never stop expressing your appreciation for the work that goes on around you. Whether your role is boss or employee, you understand that making your coworkers feel great is a necessary component of a healthy business. Yet, things aren’t great in the office. People talk behind others’ backs, apparent cliques now exist, HR seems on edge, and favoritism is running rampant. Though you try your hardest to promote a happy, healthy environment, no one can respond because of the severe level of toxicity wiping away your attempt at appreciation.  Toxicity kills any opportunity for appreciation in business.

Toxicity is a fear of every work environment. It’s something that can be sparked by an action as simple as a bad hire, leading to a snowball effect where resentment and frustration slowly build up into a boiling point, making productivity decline and good workers quit. Possibly the worst part about it is the fact that it drowns out any positivity that tries to steer things back on course. You could be the most appreciative employee to have ever existed, but without a healthy environment to express that in, your actions won’t be realized. In the end, sometimes the best form of thanks is to stop toxicity before it starts rather than focus on appreciation.

If it seems pressure is rising in the office, the first step is to identify where it’s coming from. Is it one person? Was it sparked by an event that resulted in unresolved feelings? Finding the source is an integral part of diffusing the situation. It alerts everyone to the problem, giving the entire office a cause to rally behind, once again unifying the culture. Just be sure this unification doesn’t go too far and result in a witch hunt. Over aggression when trying to find an answer tends to be just as harmful to the people involved as ignoring the situation at hand.

Assuming the problem is emanating from an employee or group of employees, it’s time to practice empathy. Sit them down in a private setting and discuss the situation at hand. Much like identifying where the toxicity was coming from in the office, steer conversation toward figuring out why the employee was acting so negatively in the first place. While it would be a wonderful world where people could immediately identify and deal with their emotions, many individuals simply don’t understand how to analyze what they feel in such a way that results in determining why they’re feeling the way they do.

In addition, be patient through this process. Many times, toxic behavior stems from a personal place, and the employee needs time to trust you enough to open up honestly about what is going on. Sometimes, the problem isn’t even work-related but they haven’t had anywhere else to go about their life stressors. If it isn’t emotional and the employee simply lacks the maturity to properly handle various situations at work, it could very well mean some sort of disciplinary action is required.

It’s not fair to your other employees if one person refuses to change their toxic attitude. Though acceptable to give the person a chance to change the problems discussed with them, it’s not acceptable to keep them on when they’ve clearly proven their unwillingness to change. After you’ve spoken with them and highlighted exactly what they’re doing and why it needs to stop, give them time to adjust. If they don’t, it’s time to let them go.

I’m not a human resource expert so I’ll leave the next step to those that do have that expertise.

Kerri Pollard, past president of Commission Junction, stated at a recent Affiliate Summit keynote, “Don’t tolerate the brilliant jerk. It will cost you too much in teamwork.”

She is so right.

Occasionally, the source of the negativity doesn’t stem from an employee but upper management. It’s in this situation where controlling and stopping the bad habits is essential for company survival. Everything done by upper management trickles down, affecting every single employee no matter their position on the ladder. Do your best to manage upward. Ask good managers with influence to help stave off the toxic behavior. This can even be as simple as keeping them removed from any and all meetings and filtering their messages to the staff.

The flip side of this situation is that senior staff usually doesn’t face any kind of threat even when told about their behavior. This then leads to a system lacking accountability where those in power can abuse their position. If they won’t change, the answer then may be to move on to a company that prides itself in a healthy culture and respects those that show appreciation.

Other times the source of frustration comes for poor internal processes. If, for instance, the process for ordering a new part for a machine in a manufacturing company is long and complicated resulting in a decrease of production the part orderer gets yelled at for, it’s understandable that a level of resentment would build up over time.

This is arguably the easiest form of toxicity to deal with as it’s not a person causing the issue. All it takes to fix is a reform of how requests are processed, something that can be implemented in days.

No matter how kind you are to others and no matter your rung on the corporate ladder, your appreciation cannot break through an office muddied by toxicity. This is why it is of the utmost importance to keep the culture happy by knowing how to deal with the different types of negativity that can arise. Keep this under control, and your employees will finally feel the full weight of the admiration you hold for each and every one of them.

5 Ways to Communicate Appreciation in Networking

Communicating genuine appreciation has been on my mind lately.

And, it’s a good thing since I appreciate any opportunity to focus on the good and the good things of connecting with other people

In networking with others, it is about forming friendships and alliances.  It is about seeing who is a good fit with your values, your business and your business goals.

Realistically we know that good networking takes work.

When someone’s taken the time to meet with you, converse with you or carry a conversation further than a mixer, how do you communicate appreciation in a way that meaningful to them and therefore more valuable?

#1 – Write your appreciation to them

A handwritten note still speaks volumes and is valued more than a quick thank you email, text or even a voice message of thanks.

Why E-Mail Will Never Replace the Handwritten Note

The Forgotten Power of Handwritten Notes

Some things are not meant to be simply digital.

When writing out your appreciation, it doesn’t need to be lengthy it just needs to be specific and personal.

Identify what it is that they did that you appreciate.  It’s not enough just to say “I appreciate you” or “Thank you”.  Take the time to be specific and identify what it is they did.

Then, go into how it helped you and then in the last sentence how it made a difference.

The structure is this by each sentence is:

  1. Thank them and state what you are specifically thanking them for
  2. How that has helped you.
  3. How it has made a difference.

For example:

“Thank you for taking the time to chat on the phone with me today.  You really helped me to understand what the holidays mean for your business.  Your insights really give me a better understanding of your schedule and give me some ideas on how I can help save you time.  Thank you for your help!”

#2 – Spend some quality time with your contact

All though handwritten notes are by far the most popular and meaningful way to express sincere appreciation to a networking connection – they are not the only way.  And, they are not always the best.

For some, having someone spend some uninterrupted quality time with them can say “thank you” more than any note could.

This could happen as a group like at a sports game or event. Or, even a group of connections going to lunch together.

Or, it could take place one-on-one as a meeting or even over coffee.

For some, just having someone slow down long enough to hear them and to value their time or company, is the highest form of appreciation they could ever receive.

Nothing says “I appreciate you” more than an investment of your time, especially because everyone knows how busy you are.

#3 – Do something that they want done for them in return

Have you ever heard the term – words are cheap?

Or this one – actions speak louder than words?

Those come from someone who would feel appreciated when someone provide an act of service to them to helpout.

Imagine that a networking contact of yours who has truly been helpful to you is completely swamped with work and cannot even get a chance to check a sporting schedule or potentially a great restaurant s/he would like to take the family to.

What if you went ahead and research the schedule and sent it to them?  Or found some great reviews on family friendly restaurants and sent that link to them or even provided them a contact name/phone number of someone at that restaurant.

Sometimes those kind acts of service are exactly the language of appreciation that someone would here.

Recently, I spoke at an event and was in the buffet line with a fellow speaker who within our 10 minutes in the line provided such a wealth of knowledge to me that I was genuinely grateful.  I then asked him what he was working on that I might be able to help with because I did appreciate his willingness to help me and answer my questions so thoroughly.  He responded that he was working on his first book and provided me some details.   I sent him a book on how to get started and the name of a book writing coach and publicist that could help him.  He called me and said what I provided him just really showed him how grateful I was for his help.

#4 – Gifts can show them how appreciative you are.

Not everyone is excited about receiving gifts.  But for those who are, be sure that the gift is specific to them. Sending golf balls to someone who doesn’t golf, is not a great way for you to show your appreciation and value for them.

If you send them specialty coffee and they’re not a coffee drinker, it could potentially hurt the relationship mores that it would nurture it leaving them feeling like you really don’t know them and you haven’t really been paying attention or listening to them.

The Problem with Gifts of Appreciation

#5 – Attaboys, Fist-bumps and Pats on the back

These are normally spontaneous but remember to give someone something like these after you know what they prefer.

Extending a fist bump to someone who’s not familiar with a fist bump can be quite awkward.

Fist bumps can’t replace handshakes: Your Say

Keep these five ways that your appreciation can be heard and received with the gratitude that you intended.

Any others’ that you’ve come across not mentioned here?

Please mention them in the comment section below.

Are Appreciation Triggers Results Alone?

Appreciation TriggersOne of the most frequent questions I am asked when I’m conducting a training for a business is:  Should you show appreciation for someone who isn’t performing well?

A tension exists in the world of recognition, employee engagement, and appreciation.  There are differences of opinion on the relationship between an employee’s performance and recognizing them.  Should you recognize an employee if they aren’t doing well in all areas of performance?  Is appreciation independent of performance?

To address the issue, I think we need to keep two foundational principles in mind:

  1. The purpose of work is to provide goods or services to customers in a profitable manner.
  2. People are more than “production units”, even at work.

So both sides of the argument have valid points.  Wise supervisors don’t communicate recognition without regard of an employee’s performance.  For example, why would you reward an employee who doesn’t show up to work regularly or on time?  There are some “bottom line” behaviors that need to be in place — showing up is one of them.

Conversely, if employees are only recognized when they produce results “above and beyond” the norm, they begin to feel that they are only valued as a super achiever.

Especially when referring to newer team members, a helpful mental image is that of a youth sports coach.  When a child is learning a sport, good coaches don’t berate or punish them if they cannot perform some of the higher level skills.  Rather, coaches encourage and support “good effort” on behaviors that approximate what they are looking for.  They try to shape the athlete’s performance closer and closer to the desired goal.  If the focus is solely on what a new team member isn’t doing well, the player can get discouraged and give up.

I think the same is true with employees who are growing into their position (or even learning what “work” is really about).  Supervisors should focus on and encourage those actions that are moving in the right direction. Then when appropriate, give gentle corrective instruction on critical skills that are still lagging.

Finally, appreciation can be communicated for characteristics that aren’t necessarily related to productivity.  I personally enjoying working with cheerful people more than grumps, or warm, friendly colleagues in contrast to cool and indifferent ones.  So I can express appreciation to a colleague for those qualities even if they are not the highest producer on the team.

I’d love to hear your perspective on this issue.  Please share your thoughts by posting a comment on our 5 Languages of Appreciation group page on LinkedIn.

Special guest post, Dr. Paul White, co-author – Appreciation at Work.

Appreciation in Business: A Crime against Words of Affirmation

A Crime against Words of Affirmation

Appreciate you! Thanks bunches! Grateful man! Thank you very much!  Thanks for all you do!

Meaningless. Droll. Lifeless words that are crimes against affirmation.

This is what we see as common place phrases that are used to convey appreciation in business.

Are you guilty of these types of words of affirmation?

Have you been on the receiving end of one of those standard thank yous?

Would you much rather hear nothing than to receive this kind of thanks?

There are many who would agree with you:

And, then there are those that are more about action as opposed to words.

Would you rather hear someone’s appreciation or would you rather see it in acts and deeds?

Regardless of the delivery, for appreciation to be heard with the true intention that was meant to be delivered with it – it must be genuine.

Fake it and you’ll be dead in the water.

After reading Dr. Paul White’s and Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Languages of Appreciation, I’ve been on a mission to learn about how these are applied in business and more importantly how they are applied by the people who are face-to-face with customers and clients.

I’m interested in that intersection where knowledge becomes powerful – when it’s applied.

To assuage any possible association with these current crimes against affirmation in your appreciation:

  1. Be specific

This means that it’s more than just an “appreciate you”; “thanks bunches”; or even “muchas gracias”.

Specifically describe what it is the person did, said or a character trait about them that you are grateful for.

For example:

  1. Something they did:

“I appreciate you staying late and helping that customer with their questions.”

  1. Something they said:

“I appreciate you sharing your thoughts about our new signage.”

  1. A character trait:

“I appreciate that you take ownership of our workspace and care about if it’s kept clean and safe.”

When you’re specific, your appreciation is more terrific.

Okay, it may seem corny but it’s true.  When you can take the time to specifically list what it is that you appreciate, then the fact that you noticed and that it has some impact is communicated just by the mere fact that you mentioned it.

  1. Personal

“Thanks all y’all for everything you do.”

That’s pretty general. Very vague. And, feels like something that someone is just checking off their list of things to do for the day.

Yes, it’s also a little Texan. (And, I am Texan and feel comfortable in saying y’all – even professionally).

However, whatever regional phrases you use – Make sure your appreciation is very specific to that person.

Before you communicate your appreciation answer these questions:

  1. What did this particular person do or say that you are grateful for?
  2. What’s the best way this person likes to receive a genuine ‘thank you’?

Remember, some people like to be thanked publicly.  Others do not.

Some appreciate gifts, gift cards and even tickets to activities. Some do not and lose the cards or tickets. Or, they bury them away.

Some really like a little extra time to be heard and to make a difference.

Some like plaques and certificates. Some see those as a waste of time.

Do you know your team members or the people you connect with enough to know the best way that is meaningful to them to be appreciated?

  1. Focus on how it matters or makes a difference to you

All of us want to know that we’re valued and that we matter.

Do you want to ignite someone’s productivity, motivation and dedication? Let them know in all sincerity how they’ve made a difference in your life. For business, you might want to focus more on your “work life”.

Knowing this, you know that saying thanks – even as specific as possible – is not enough.  You need to share not only what you’re thankful for but also share how that’s made a difference in your life.

  1. Share how it matters or makes a difference to the company and your customers

How their action has made a difference to you as an individual is important. But, it also matters that they know how they make a difference to the company or to customers.

Here’s an example:

I appreciate that you took the time to help that customer with their individual questions.  It takes a load of my plate so that I can focus on growing the business. And, I know you make sure our customers feel heard and helped. Thank you!

Let your appreciation do more, mean more and be received by the person you’re giving it to with the same meaning and sincerity of the intent.